Community building can be HARD

Unlike previous years for me, my residents aren't building community on their own. At this point in the semester, there are still so many residents that don't engage with others in the hall and refuse to leave their rooms, perhaps because they don't know anyone.

As an RA, it's our job to fix that! Our job is to pull each resident out of their rooms, out of their comfort zones, and make sure they thrive in their halls and make friends. Most students in college don't do well in classes when they don't do well socially, and that's because students are more apt to feel some form of depression when they feel lonely, disconnected, and isolated in their living space and in their school.

Going to college can be terrifying as it is - students are literally uprooting their lives to go to a place that's unfamiliar, potentially miles away from home, and not near people they know. When residents are so far from home, and feel disconnected in the residence hall they live in, life can be hard for them.

Let's take a look at how isolated students can go down a dangerous path: First, the resident feels disconnected and isolated and if they don't make immediate friends, they feel that they will never make friends where they live. If they don't have friends in their res hall and don't have friends in class, these students begin to feel like college was a mistake, or at least the college they're attending was a mistake. And if students begin to feel this way, they begin to slack in class and feel like their presence doesn't matter in the community. If they feel like they don't matter, then they don't work hard or put in effort in their classes. They could begin to fail, could begin to grow depressed, and could begin to wish they weren't going to college. This could lead to failing out, or dropping out, or transferring.

We as RA's want to avoid this. It's our job to realize that residents, especially first year residents, need our help to feel included, especially if they aren't feeling that way immediately. A huge problem in res halls is that when an immediate community is formed, residents outside of this immediate community feel like it's too late for them to join, and that isn't the case.

Here's an example: last year, I was the RA for about 40 residents, and I had an immediate group of friends that hung out a lot in the common room, did everything together, ate dinner together, etc. I had one resident who immediately felt like he didn't belong in the community and in his classes, and towards the end of first semester, felt depressed at school. He no longer felt passionate about his major, about the school, and about college in general. At the beginning of the next semester, I noticed this and worked hard to invite this resident into the common room. I went out of my way to knock on his door and invite him to dinner with us, or to i