How to: Building Community

Hello, and welcome back! If you're here, you're probably an RA, looking for some tips and tricks about this job! Or, maybe you saw my bulletin boards and door tags, and liked my style.

Either way, today I'm talking about building community, and how you too can have an awesome year with your residents! (Because that's all we want, right? To have an awesome year with the people we're stuck living with).

Building community starts on the first day of school, and doesn't end until move-out day in May. If you think building community stops at the end of first semester, or even the first month, you're in for a surprise.

Last year, I had a resident who didn't like me, nor did he like living in the hall. He made that obvious since the beginning of the year, and throughout the entire first and second semesters, he avoiding the hall and began to avoid class. It wasn't until the very end of the year (and I'm talking about March/April) did he spend a night in the common room with the other residents.

That's right: he didn't even step foot in the common room with others until March. March. That's basically the end of the year!

The last week of school, he approached me in my room one night on duty, and told me that because I didn't give up on him, because I asked him every night to come into the common room, and because I never stopped saying hello, he finally gained the courage to hang out in the common room. It took him all year to feel comfortable enough to talk to the other residents, and even hang out with them the last month of school. He ended the year with friends, all because my community building efforts didn't end, even when he'd been vocal about saying no.

Community building continues all year long. You'll have residents who don't want to interact at first. Or, you'll have residents who are too shy/intimidated to interact with the larger group, who may appear clique-ish. But, it's important not to give up on these residents.

But, how do you build community?

I host a lot of impromptu events in my hall. I host game nights, movie nights, nerf-war nights, paint nights, spa nights, etc. I round up what I have in my room, and I bring it to the common room, and I invite people to come hang out. The different types of impromptu events bring different types of residents. My game nights will bring out the gamers. My spa nights typically bring out the girls. But all are invited! I don't get paid to do these events, nor do I have a budget for them. But, I spend extra time and effort to make sure my residents feel comfortable, and so there are things for them to do in the hall during the nights I'm on duty. (or, sometimes when I'm not on duty).

During the weekends, I try to get residents to go downtown with me. I try to get them to come to the farmers market with me, or to the lakefront, or to get ice cream. These outings not only let me interact with my residents, but it also allows them to hang with each other outside of the hall.

Of course, the first six weeks are the most intense - these events should be frequent. But, even after the first semester ends, you as an RA should be continuing to do this. If you have a hall that builds community quickly, you don't have to host as many of these impromptu events. But, make sure all residents are getting involved (or, 90%). And never give up on those residents who don't seem interested, because they too could change their minds at the end of the year.

Remember, for most residents (if they're a first year), they're nervous. They don't know how to put themselves out there to make friends. They need someone to help lead the way to building community and to making friends.

I also love birthday walls!

I hope this helps all the RA's out there who are struggling with building community, because like you, I too struggle sometimes. It's natural, but never give up! Because it could take until March for a resident to come out of their shell.